2015 in review

The last time I checked I was starting to fall behind on my goals for 2015, but I remained optimistic. It was an ambitious year at the outset, but then it started off in the middle of a very positive stretch – apartment was rented, house was solid, finances were manageable, depression was under control, and for the first time in my adult life I felt like I could look outwards towards the things I wanted to accomplish in life.

Let’s talk about what actually happened.

  • get rid of $15,000 of debt

This goal died on the vine; we lost our tenant mid-summer and I’ve been reconstructing our apartment pretty much ever since. Near as I can reckon, I’m pretty much 10 grand down on that deal, and that’s before I account for the tax bill I’ll be getting this spring.

I did do some work on this stuff in the first half of the year. Honest, I did. I have one page of finished art for Heroes. I have almost nothing else to show for the year, artistically speaking. I’m questioning whether I have the desire to actually be an artist at all anymore.

  • finish a 100,000 word fantasy novel (Thrum)
  • release the first Perfect Minute game, Contension

Thrum ground to a halt with spring check-in, and Perfect Minute ground down shortly after the apartment nonsense. My partners didn’t get much done in my absence, and I’ve questioned whether that effort is something I want to continue.  The book, I think, will survive the culling process. Maybe.

  • drop below 350 pounds for the first time in almost a decade

Crazily, I actually hit this one. I mean, it was a near thing; I dipped below briefly, then surged upward, up some more, then dropped like a rock to hit 344 for about a millisecond, and now I’m well over the 350 mark again.  Dave Sullivan I’m not (and more on that subject another day, perhaps).

I’m left to ask myself how I feel about all that. And the answer is, oddly (at least to me), that none of it really matters that much. I’m reorienting my whole approach to life this year. Not achieving my overly ambitious schedule of goals doesn’t have the impact it could.

In 2016, I have just three goals:

  • find out what fulfills me
  • do that
  • be happy

I have some ideas how to approach that agenda, but not a lot of solid plans right yet. One thing about overreaching so badly, it really lets you know where your ideas and values have solidity and where they don’t.

From that perspective, I’m gonna call 2015 a win.