It gets so you can’t even see the fail.

Here is something that I spend too much time thinking about lately. I’ve made a lot of brave noises about my weight over the years, and I’ve been viciously jealous of the few I’ve met who’ve beaten the beast.

But I think it’s possible that there’s value in seeing what this looks like when you don’t win that battle, even if you sort-of keep fighting it. I don’t track calories like I should; my dietitian has said things that make me a little leery of making that my primary tool in this particular struggle.  I try to eat a lot of protein and acceptable quantities of the other macronutrients.  I try to get a decent amount of fresh fruit and veg into my body.  I try to find opportunities to exercise.

But I don’t succeed at any of those all that much. I’m trying to own that, but there’s a level of detachment even in this post, which nominally takes ownership of my own failures.

I don’t have a snappy summation for this. I just thought maybe I’d put it out there.