Been a while since I put anything up here. That’s not something I meant to let happen. I had a flare-up of my depression. It’s still ongoing, but I’m managing with lots of help from LGW and my friends and family. It’s hard to be creative, hard to be social, hard to be a good dude at all, when your brain insists things are hopeless.
Doubly so when you have reasons to feel that way. 2015 had a tough second half.
But! It’s a new year. I have a little hope that I can either recover my drive or find a new channel for my energies. It might be time to reinvent myself. It might. Or this might be depression talking! I don’t know! And that’s kind of freeing, in its own odd way.
The last time this happened I’d just busted my ankle. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but that was the beginning of the end for my time in theatre. I came to that scene late, and exited it unexpectedly. I spent a lot of fruitful time in between learning and growing as a person and, I thought, as an artist.
My time since has resonated within that conception of myself. I laid out and partially scripted a graphic novel. I conceived of two more, and I started several major writing projects as well as a collection of video games. All of this was, I thought, confirmation of my artistic self-image – creativity was spilling out of my ears and trickling down my fingers; my very soul resounded, etc.
I’ve gone months without any of it, and though that time has often been miserable, the lack of creative outlet hasn’t really come up much. There’s a moment, now, to consider what that means.
A new year is a time for reinvention, after all.
In that vein, here’s your little bit of happy: