Letters to a dear PM

Hi Stephen,

Lucky break with that merging of the parties business, hey? Time to get a move on, I’d say. The Canadian left isn’t just going to remain split and hand you government after government on the back of a 35% popular vote. Strike while the iron is hot, buddy! Call me!

 

Hi Stephen,

I just wanted to let you know that I got your 2003 message about voting to take the afternoon off and I’m all for it! I know if I could vote to take the afternoon off I’d vote every day, and I would make it a matter of confidence if the boss voted no, because what kind of pinko commie longhair doesn’t want the afternoon off am I right, buddy? Call me!

 

Hi Stephen,

I just wanted to remind you that in 2006 those guys are going to be voting against something important and they’re probably actually going to win this one so you need to figure out how you’re going to make that not happen, m’kay? Might I suggest proroguing? It’s all the rage buddy! Call me!

 

Hi Stephen,

Well, 2010’s Olympics time anyway and I know your head’s not gonna be in it that week , so why don’t we just go ahead and knock off early again. Maybe we can get you another piano recital to fill in the time, buddy! Call me!

 

Hi Stephen,

All this talk of corruption is getting me worried. Why don’t you take some time off and head south for a bit? We’ll get rid of the people that have provable ties to all of this business while you’re gone, m’kay buddy? Call me!